Product Design vs Statistic

This is the very first time I give my all to a certain thing. Yes, being a n assistant of Product Design and Development Laboratory was my first time I declare that this time I'll do something seriously. Give my all. Show off. Or whatever you call it. If I take back to my past, well I don't think I ever made such effort to get something. But I just ruined everything at the very end. Very very so damn very end!! Design is my passion. But apparently statistics is my eternal enemy that my eyes can't ignore its presence. At the very end, when everyone support me, when everyone was so sure I can reach where my passion is located. My eyes were distracted by that enemy. I confront it carelessly by registering myself to the recruitment. I didn't expect myself to step further. In the name of probability I made a trial and error.

Who knows? The announcement of my enemy was earlier. It ruined my calculation. All probability theory seemed so old-fashioned. Expired. It came first. Then the place where my passion stayed accepts me as well. Just like everyone said. I've disappointed them and ... myself.

On the interview, when another candidate were questioned by so many questions. They only asked my motivation and some basic questions. Their question mainly focus on my choice. Between my passion and my enemy. Only if, oh GOD only if they came first and no contract involved.

What make me regret it so much is that in the evening? I was called, saying that actually I was chosen. THEY CHOSE ME. oh no The awesome-great-admirable Dr. Alva chose me. oh GOD. OH MY GOD. What could make you even happier than the acknowledgement from the King of The Kingdom of your passion. But again that's too late. My dear enemy has me. It wants me to finish our battle. In the name of professionalism I clearly stated to give my position at Laboratory of Product Design and Development to another. I hope great success for them all. For myself.

This is my own fault, it it is a fault.

And this is the gift from my Lord which is still invisible. I’ll find it. I won’t lose to my enemy. NO.

The last words were “Ok. Thx … Semoga sukses!”

I won’t fail!

A: Halo, ini rahma?

R: Iya, mas ada apa ya?

A: Jadi gini, ini soal asisten lab despro. Kamu masuk jadi bagian dari kami.

R: Eh?

A: Iya pak alva milih kamu, tapi tadi kami sudah cross check ternyata yang di QRE kamu juga diterima. Nah pak alva membebaskan kamu passionnya di mana?

R: Oh, iya bener. Tadi ternyata pengumuman dan langsung pengarahan kerja sama dosen juga yg di QRE. Jadi gimana mas?

A: Ya itu terserah kamu gimana. Ini kan pengumuman rencananya malam ini. Dan baru kamu aja yang tahu soal ini. Jadi kalau bisa langsung diputuskan sebelum pengumuman.

R: ……………….

A: Halo??

R: Ah, iya iya maaf sebentar mas

A: Yauda kamu pikirin dulu ja. Tar sms tapi jangan terlalu malem.

R: Oh, ok

*intinya begitu* aslinya kalimat dari mas A lbh terorganisasi kalimatnya dan panjang pula. Srsly I was so much confused what to decide >.<

But then, thanks to my bear. Even if it’s so hard that’s the best way I could take. I decide to take down my enemy. I’ll see ya soon my passion.